This is why you keep self-sabotaging

You keep making the same choices. That’s why you’re not getting results. And it’s why you keep having to start over. Ultimately, if you want to change any aspect of your life, you have to start making different choices. If you keep making the same choices, you will keep getting the same results.‘The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over & over but expecting different results’. (Interesting fact: This quote is often attributed to Albert Einstein, but he actually never said that. Look it up;) And we know this, but WHY do we keep making the same choices? All of the above. Here’s a story for you. Suzie has been wanting to get fit for quite some time now. Currently, she’s super busy with kids, work, volunteering, etc. etc. So, right now she can only get to 1-2 fitness classes a week. That’s great for her but she really wants to up her exercise and fit in at least 5 workouts a week. She’s also very keen on changing her eating habits by eliminating wine in the evening and stop snacking. She figures out that she could add extra workouts into her week on her lunch hour and 1 day on a weekend. She also decides she won’t drink any wine that week and will get rid of all the junk food in the house. All is well the first week. She gets her workouts in, sticks with healthy eating and feels awesome & successful. ‘I’ve got this‘, is her mantra. The 2nd week starts out with great intention but then on day 3, she’s stressed and tired...

What’s The Worst Thing That Could Happen?

This is the question I ask myself almost daily. It gets me through some tough decision making and it helps me to put myself out there on a regular basis. Here’s the thing…I have an amazing amount of great ideas. And they usually involve me in some very public position of either speaking or leading. I also suffer from anxiety and an inner bitch voice telling me I’m not good enough to do this or that. But I made a decision long ago that I wasn’t going to listen to that voice nor would I keep myself small. That means, going forward with these ideas and putting them out there. That’s when ‘what’s the worst thing that could happen?’ comes in. Let’s put it into practice with this example. Here’s my inner creative voice talking…..’Fawn, you should start a woman’s run club in your neighborhood that meets weekly for a 30 min run and then have coffee/tea with them. This way, you’ll get exercise and meet new friends.’ (I recently moved from Bowen Island to North Vancouver and want to meet new friends here.) Me, ‘Yeah, that sounds like a really great idea! I should do that! I could meet so many women and work out and get to know the neighbourhood! It’d be awesome.’ Inner Bitch…’Seriously? Who would join that? Probably no one. You’ll look so stupid and no one will join and no one will like you. Besides, you’re no runner.’ So that conversation cycles over and over in my head for about an hour. LOL. What I have learned to do through lots of practice, is...

Shop Your Shape, Not Your Size

What a thought Dressing for your shape instead of your size! I LOVE it! When I was in Toronto in April, my daughter and I went to a little clothing boutique and the featured picture was on the wall. It’s beautiful! Shop your shape, not your size. We get so caught up in the whole ‘I’m a size 6’ thing that we forget that that, doesn’t really matter. How many times have you gone to try on jeans and you’re usually a 28 but in another brand you’re a 30? Or a 25? And what the f**k is a 00? A double zero? How is that even a size? Does that make me invisible? None of it makes sense. And if all the manufacturers are just making up whatever size they want then why would you even get stuck on what ‘size’ you are? Instead of worrying about what size you are, how about celebrating your shape? Got some crazy long legs? Show them off with skirts. Got amazing cleavage? Wear low cut tops and show them puppies off! Well defined arms? Tank tops! Bubbly booty? Tight skirts! It is time we celebrate what our mammas gave us! Not trying to fit into some number that screws with our head. I have approximately 1 million pairs of Lululemon tights.  They are each the same size. Why? Because I HATE trying on clothes. I know size 4 fits, so I grab a pair with the style and colour I like and then I leave. Some of those tights, I have to literally stuff myself into which ends up making me feel...

Take Care of Your Own Shit

I’m constantly reminded that living a healthy life is NOT just eating right and exercising daily. It’s so much more. It’s how you speak to yourself. It’s how you speak to others. It’s the thoughts you think. It’s the way you feel. It’s what you read. It’s what you watch on TV. It’s your emotional health. It’s your mental health. It’s your spiritual health. It’s your relationships. Health is your whole damn life. I’ve been seeing a counsellor weekly for about a month now and every time I see him, I learn so much more about myself and how I’m connecting with others. Light bulbs go off all the time when talking with my counsellor. And I am so very, very grateful for that. He gives me so much to think about and ways to think about things differently. Lately I’ve been thinking about how easy it is to make the ‘other’ wrong. That way, you are ‘right’ and you feel better. Have you ever had the experience of someone making you wrong so that they are right? I have. A lot. And what I’ve come to realize is this….. it is never about you. It isn’t. It is always about them and their own shit. Their fears. Their judgements. Their insecurity. What you are doing actually doesn’t matter, it’s their own feelings they are reacting to that is causing them to make you wrong. See, because if they didn’t make you wrong, if they didn’t judge you, then they’d have to look inward. They’d have to sit in their own anxiety or fear or whatever is going on...

There is Wisdom in Your Anxiety

Anxiety and panic attacks are nothing to be ashamed of. I have them. I have friends who have them. Lots of people experience anxiety and feelings of panic. It does not mean there is something wrong with you or you are broken. It’s simply who you are. And that, my friend, should be celebrated. My earliest memory of a panic attack was in the backseat of my parent’s car. I remember thinking about dying and death and my whole body froze. I felt all sweaty and my stomach was churning like crazy. It was hard to breathe. But I couldn’t say anything to my parents because they would just say ‘Oh don’t be silly’ like they always said to me when I tried to talk about my feelings. They would get worse during different times of my life but again, I could never talk about them. Oh my god….during my separation when all the shit hit the fan, I would wake up nightly panicked. I’d ‘mantra’ myself back to sleep with ‘you’re okay, you’re okay’. I started getting major reflux and I lost 13 lbs! But still, I didn’t talk about it. Maybe people would think I was weird and like my parents said, I had no right to feel worried about anything. Other people had it worse. Maybe I’m just being soft? When I hear other people talk about their symptoms though I always thought, ‘well that’s not like mine so maybe I don’t have anxiety’. My friend had such panic attacks that she couldn’t walk or drive over a bridge! Mine never looked like that so I...

Ta Da!

You know what I’m sick of? Endless ‘to do’ lists. That’s what I’m sick of. Every day I write down what I’m supposed to get done that day. Kid stuff, Work stuff, home stuff, life stuff….stuff, stuff, stuff. It’s friggin endless. Kind of like the laundry! LOL. Here’s the thing. When I look at that list the end of my day, I maybe have crossed off 2 (if I’m lucky) items. I often end up not feeling very successful. But when I think about my day, I got a lot of shit done! Stuff that wasn’t even on my ‘to do’ list. Important stuff! So then one day I was listening to a podcast with Gretchin Rubin. She’s the author of The Happiness Project and The Four Tendencies which are  fabulous books! In her podcast, she mentioned a ‘Ta Da’ list. Mic Drop! This spoke volumes to me! A ‘Ta Da!’ list along with (or instead of) a ‘to do’ list! How flipping brilliant is that! The idea is to write down your accomplishments at the end of the day rather than focusing on what didn’t get crossed off the to do list. How awesome is that! You all know I’m a big believer in self compassion so the idea of a ‘Ta Da!’ list just completely works with that. So, I think you should trade in your ‘to do’ list for a ‘Ta Da!’ list! Of course, I have put one together for you to download. (Send me your email here and I’ll send you the Ta Da list all done for you:) HOW TO USE THE ‘TA...