Take Care of Your Own Shit

I’m constantly reminded that living a healthy life is NOT just eating right and exercising daily. It’s so much more. It’s how you speak to yourself. It’s how you speak to others. It’s the thoughts you think. It’s the way you feel. It’s what you read. It’s what you watch on TV. It’s your emotional health. It’s your mental health. It’s your spiritual health. It’s your relationships. Health is your whole damn life. I’ve been seeing a counsellor weekly for about a month now and every time I see him, I learn so much more about myself and how I’m connecting with others. Light bulbs go off all the time when talking with my counsellor. And I am so very, very grateful for that. He gives me so much to think about and ways to think about things differently. Lately I’ve been thinking about how easy it is to make the ‘other’ wrong. That way, you are ‘right’ and you feel better. Have you ever had the experience of someone making you wrong so that they are right? I have. A lot. And what I’ve come to realize is this….. it is never about you. It isn’t. It is always about them and their own shit. Their fears. Their judgements. Their insecurity. What you are doing actually doesn’t matter, it’s their own feelings they are reacting to that is causing them to make you wrong. See, because if they didn’t make you wrong, if they didn’t judge you, then they’d have to look inward. They’d have to sit in their own anxiety or fear or whatever is going on...

Just Show the F*ck Up

(Notice the asterisk in the f-bomb so as to not totally offend people….lol;) Woody Allen famously said ‘80% of success is just showing up.’ That totally applies to an exercise program. If you just show up for that class or your workout, you’re 80% there. The other 20% is actually moving your body. But it’s that effort of showing up that really counts. It’s like the email I sent out the other day about consistency….if you consistently ‘show up’ to your classes, your sessions, your workouts….you will be successful. This happens in my classes all the time. I often hear from my class participants and clients, ‘Ugh. I really didn’t want to come today.’ Rather than take it personally & sulk off in a corner, I totally get it. Heck, I don’t want to be there half the time. Some days I’m much rather stay in my cute little house all day, wearing cozy socks, drinking coffee and puttering around. But I show up. Not only because it’s my job and people are actually paying me to show up but also because I know that if I just show up, I’ll soon actually WANT to be there. And then I have a great class or session and so does my participant/client! And then say at the end of the hour ‘I’m SO glad I showed up’. I can actually feel their energy change from ‘I can’t even‘ to ‘I feel so good‘! And it’s all because they just showed the f*ck up. As I’ve written before, motivation is bullshit. So if you’re waiting to ‘feel‘ motivated, you’ll never show up. But if...

Too-Much-Ness

You’re too loud. You’re too harsh. You have too much energy. You are too talkative. You are too emotional. You think too much. You are too enthusiastic. These are all things people have said to me over my life. Mostly by those closest to me….parents, partners, in-laws, etc. Can you relate? Have you ever been told you are too much of anything? For someone to live authentically themselves, to hear they are too much of anything can feel like a punch in the gut. ‘So being myself is just too much for you?’ I crave people who love my ‘too-much-ness’. They ones that are also too much of something. The ones that get fired up by too-much-ness. Those are the people that light me up. They’re the ones I seek out in life like the proverbially moth to the light. I love too-much-ness. Because to me it means they are authentic. Authentically living their lives out loud, being who they truly are, not being dampened by the ‘too-much-ness naysayers. The too-much people make life interesting. They’re creative & bold & colourful & alive & effervescent & live out loud. You know what they’re about because it’s written all over them. They are the ones out there busy living life, not just watching it. The ones you hear laughing WAY out loud. These are my people. So today, I salute all the ones that are ‘too much’ of something. Thank you for making my life richer in your very special & unique way. There she is…. There she is. . . the “too much” woman. The one who loves too hard,...

It’s About the Face-to-Face

Sometimes the best things happen unexpectedly. Get comfy while I tell you about one of the best days I’ve ever had. It was a Wednesday & it all started with my car not starting. I was driving my daughter to an early ferry to go to choir but my car would not start! Had to get the tow truck to boost it and luckily it did start. But this car is only a year old and I swear I didn’t leave anything ‘on’ in it so I was really worried there was something wrong with it. I phoned KIA (the customer service there is amazing by the way) and they suggested I bring it in to make sure everything was okay, and I was due for a service. Now, that day I was going to be spending with my other daughter getting stuff she needed for an upcoming dance recital and taking her to an appointment. Well now because of my worry for the car, her dad took her to the appointment instead while I took my car in. The urgency of taking the car in is I live on an island. If my car is screwed, I’m screwed! So the point is, my whole day changed unexpectedly. And am I ever thankful for it. Anyways, I drop the car off and head over to a coffee shop with laptop and phone in hand ready to work while the car was in the shop. I order a chai latte, sit down at a table & begin setting up to work. Meanwhile these two men were sitting beside me chatting about their most recent...

Getting Unstuck

I think it’s pretty easy to get stuck in patterns of thoughts and behaviours. The challenge is to recognize when you’re stuck and change the thought or action. For instance, think about when you’re stuck in traffic. Or someone cuts you off. What is your usual reaction? Do you get mad & frustrated, maybe even flip the bird? Or do you think ‘Sweet! Extra time to listen to podcasts!’? People are such creatures of habit that it becomes really easy to create a pattern but we can also create a habit of recognizing when we are IN a pattern. See, when you’re stuck there is no growth possible. If you’re constantly thinking one way, how can you ever broaden your mind to think a different way? I think that as humans it’s our job to continually grow. That’s the only way we evolve as a species. Think about a person in your life that drives you crazy…and not in the good way;) But maybe is challenging to communicate with or to be around. Notice your thoughts around that person…your judgements. Have you always thought about that person like that? You’re probably stuck in a judgement pattern about that person. What if you tried to think a new thought about that person? So instead of thinking that person is an asshole, what if you think…I wonder what’s going on for that person? Maybe we could then invite compassion into our hearts for that person and not be angry or feel irritated by them. And then maybe we could even have a better relationship with them. Same thing with yourself. Do...

Stop Beating Yourself Up

Here’s the reason why you are not seeing results with your health & fitness program…..you continually beat yourself up. In all my many, many years in this industry the biggest issue I see women facing is their lack of self-compassion & self-love. All I hear women say is how they deny themselves this & that and then punish themselves with gruelling workouts and even that’s not enough for them. On top of denying themselves yummy food and pleasure AND killing themselves by running or lifting or whatever, they go and tell themselves they’re still not good enough. It’s this constant put down of self that is ruining the health & wellness of women. And it starts so young! As a mom to teen girls I see it now…my thighs are too big says one with the absolute to die for figure.  My tummy is flabby says the other with zero tummy. It makes me think back to when I was in my 20s with a killer figure and still not happy with it. Why are we so friggin hard on ourselves all the goddamn time? Is it because of the media? Is it because of other women? Is it because that’s what we heard growing up all the time…that we weren’t good enough? I think it’s pretty easy to blame the media because it’s right there all the time in our faces…commercials about being more this or more that. Magazine photos of these women that are basically genetic freaks (you know the ones…6.0 ft & 110lbs) & we’re told THAT’S the look we should try to attain. Um…yeah a little...